Tourney Random 2278
by Jon Badwolf
Summary: Enter a realm where Gears and randomness rules. Enter JON BADWOLF'S Guilty Gear!
1. Huh?

Me: Hi. Badwolf here. Here's a little humor for a kick ass game. My darling and beautiful Dizzy, read the disclaimer.  
  
Dizzy: Badwolf doesn't own any of the Guilty Gear characters. I want to see Ky's ass get kicked out of the line up...  
  
Me: On with the story! It was an ordinary day for the people of Japan. War was going on. Gears and humans constantly fight and fight. It is a sad state of affairs. But there are a few who keep to their own. Here in the forest...  
  
"You have an Ace?"  
"Go fish, Holy Boy!"  
"Damn you Sol!"  
  
Me: What you just heard were Ky Kiske and Sol Badguy, the Guilty Gear icons. It's pathetic how they just sit there knowing how much they hate each other...  
  
Sol: Hey, Badwolf, shut up!  
  
Me: Don't make me go over there!  
  
Sol: Try me.  
  
Me: You son of a...  
  
Ky: I'm supposed to fight him. Not you!  
  
Me and Sol: Stay out of this Holy Boy!  
  
Ky: ...I'll just play with Thunderseal *starts crying*  
  
Me and Sol: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! *assorted fighting noises*  
  
30 minutes later...  
  
Dizzy: What's with the noise?  
  
Me and Sol: *stop fighting* Huh?  
  
Me: D-D-Dizzy... *nosebleed and faints*  
  
Sol: Weak hearted bastard.  
  
Me: I heard that!  
  
Random isn't it! Next Chapter: Axl vs. Testament vs. Sol vs. Me. Stay tuned for more of Tourney Random 2278!  
  
Chipp: Holy Zen! Can I come in this?  
  
Me: I'll see what I can do...  
  
Bridget: Me too?  
  
Me: Hell no!  
  
Baiken: Me?  
  
Me: You are aware that if I put you in I'm going to have to deal with Anji right?  
  
Baiken: Yup.  
  
Me: 'K. Now, everyone else, take a number I'll se where I can put you. Hey, Testament, don't touch my wolf or my tiger.  
  
Testament: Okay.  
  
Me: Good night all! 


	2. Randomness 101

Badwolf: Yawn! I had a nice nap. *notices blood* Damn! Someone do the disclaimer while I clean up.  
  
Bridget: Can I do it?  
  
Everyone: NO!!!  
  
Testament: As my precious Dizzy said before, Jon Badwolf doesn't own anyone but himself. All Guilty Gear characters belong to Sammy Studios.  
  
Badwolf: Thank you Testament. Now, who was supposed to fight now?  
  
Bridget: Me?  
  
Badwolf: That does it! COMBUSTION HOWL!  
  
GG Announcer: DESTROYED!  
  
Everyone: YAY!!!  
  
Axl: I think it was Testament, Sol, you, and I in a Fatal 4-Way.  
  
Badwolf: This reminds me of Guilty Gear Isuka... Oh well, Sol, get your ass out here.  
  
Sol: *grunts* zzzzzzzz...  
  
Badwolf: GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR! Holy Boy!  
  
Ky: Yes, Master Badwolf?  
  
Badwolf: Wake Sol's stupid ass up! If you do, I'll give you more camera time.  
  
Ky: Sweet! RISING FORCE!  
  
GG Announcer: DESTROYED!  
  
Everyone: YAY!  
  
Badwolf: Damn! How could you do that holy boy?! I will torture you for that!  
  
Ky: How?  
  
May: With me!  
  
Bridget: And me!  
  
Ky: NOOOOOOOO! *Runs screaming with May and Bridget chasing him*  
  
Axl and Testament: *sweatdrop* Can we start the fight?  
  
Badwolf: Yes. Announcer?  
  
GG Announcer: *ahem* Heaven or Hell! Final... Let's Rock!  
  
Axl: Axl Bomber! *Hits Testament* Booyah!  
  
Testament: *rubbing head* That hurt! NIGHTMARE CIRCULAR!  
  
GG Announcer: SLASH!  
  
Testament: Yeah! Who bad? Testament bad!  
  
Badwolf: CRIMSON STAR SLASH!  
  
GG Announcer: SLASH!  
  
Testament: *weakly* No... fair...  
  
Badwolf: This concludes Chap. 2 of Tourney Random 2278.  
  
Dizzy: *hugs Badwolf* You are the greatest!  
  
Badwolf: I love this job! *Nosebleed* DAMN NOSEBLEED!!! 


	3. Where do people go after getting Destroy...

Baiken: Oy! Anji! Back off!  
  
Anji: But, Baiken, you are so beautiful. And so badass!  
  
Slayer: Break it up you two! Where is Badwolf?  
  
Anji: I don't know.  
  
Bridget: YAY! No torture for me!  
  
Jam: Says who?!  
  
Bridget: *sweatdrop*  
  
Chipp: Let me destroy the little cross-dresser!  
  
Sol: Enough!  
  
Everyone: ...  
  
Sol: If you want Badwolf, look over there.  
  
Everyone looks to see Badwolf try to impress Dizzy.  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Dizzy: Waaaaaah!!!  
  
Necro: Die you heartless bastards!  
  
Badwolf: Not yet Necro...  
  
Dizzy: I hate Sol...  
  
Badwolf: I nominate Chipp to destroy him.  
  
Chipp: Holy Zen! W00T!  
  
Anji: Are you sure you want him to do this?  
  
Badwolf: *sweatdrop* On second thought, Jam, you do it.  
  
Jam: With pleasure. GASENKOTSU!  
  
GG Announcer: DESTROYED!  
  
Everyone: YAY!  
  
Baiken: Did anyone do the disclaimer?  
  
Everyone: *anime fall*  
  
Baiken: Oh well. I'll say it. Jon Badwolf doesn't own anyone on the GG lineup. He only owns Jon Badwolf. I just thought of something. Where does Bridget go when we Destroy him?  
  
Chipp: He goes to the moon!  
  
Axl: Chipp, do you want to be Destroyed?  
  
Chipp: No.  
  
Axl: Then... SHUT UP!  
  
Slayer: He goes to hell!  
  
Zato: He goes to the Netherealm!  
  
Badwolf: Zato, you and Venom were not supposed to come until Chapter 6!  
  
Zato: I just wanted to pitch in.  
  
Faust: It's quite simple. He goes to a place where the sky is blood red, zombies are everywhere, and Olsen Twin movies rule.  
  
Everyone except Badwolf, Dizzy and Sol: *faint*  
  
Dizzy: First, I don't believe you.  
  
Sol: Second, You are a crackpot old man who's stupid and eccentric.  
  
Badwolf: Third, You weren't supposed to come in until Chapter 5!  
  
Faust and Sol: *anime fall*  
  
Dizzy: You are so funny. *kisses Badwolf on cheek*  
  
Badwolf: *braces for nosebleed* No nosebleed... YES!  
  
Dizzy: *whispers* I haven't got the heart to tell him he wet himself. *Shows wet stain*  
  
Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Axl and Dizzy: G'night folks.  
  
Axl: Wanna play pool?  
  
Dizzy: 'K 


End file.
